


WINGS AREN'T WHAT YOU NEED

by jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle



Series: THAT LITTLE KISS YOU STOLE, IT HELD MY HEART AND SOUL [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Eren Yeager, Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Intergluteal Sex, Jearen - Freeform, M/M, Rimming, Smut, Yaoi, i need more jearen in my life, uh gets a little gruesome in parts so gore maybe?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:25:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1785640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle/pseuds/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There's no guarantee that this will be easy, its not a miracle you need, believe me. I'm no angel, I'm just me, but I will love you endlessly.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	WINGS AREN'T WHAT YOU NEED

**Author's Note:**

> [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y73kNP-QVqQ) was kinda the inspiration for this so yeah, enjoy

“Jean?”

He had no idea how long it had been since Eren had changed. How long he had been alone, curled into himself against that cold stone wall. How long he had pretended he couldn’t feel the snow snaking its icy tendrils through the fabric of his pants and to claw at his most sensitive parts. How long it had been since he had heard a titan scream he could never forget. How long had it been since those screams had died down?

“Jean – you’re safe!” Armin’s feet crunched under the snow as he jumped from the saddle, a landing that stumbled him to Jean’s feet. “Jean? Are you hurt?” He gripped Jean’s shoulders to shake him, pausing as he flinched away. “…Jean?”

“He…he’s silent…”

“What are you talking about, Jean?”

Jean tilted his head to look up into familiar blue eyes, noting the way they drifted to his lip, and by the tang on his tongue he was certain he had worried through the thin flesh. He wasn’t sure at what point he stopped feeling the pain. The pain of the cold, the pain of his teeth gnawing away at his lip, the ache in his knuckles when he refused to relax. But what was pain in the face of fear?

“Come on, Jean.” Armin shifted, grabbing the extra winter-issue military cloak from the pack on his horse and draping it over Jean’s shoulders. “Let’s get you back to safety.”

Suddenly very aware, his eyes locked onto Armin’s as he pushed to his feet. One extra horse, one extra cloak, one set of gear, the way Sasha and Connie seemed to shift on their horses – they hadn’t expected to find him alive. They had only expected to find Eren. He couldn’t blame them, couldn’t be angry; it had been pure coincidence that they had ended up so close to each other in the end. Or maybe Eren had been searching for him.

“No!” He shoved his arms into the sleeves of the coat, trying to ignore just how good the fur-lining felt against his numb skin, the way it left prickles on the surface of his flesh. “I’m not going back – we have to find Eren!”

Armin smiled at him, that same smile he always gave people when he was lying, manipulating. It was reassuring, but empty. It made him a great potential future commander. Jean knew that smile, and seeing it left him feeling like there was concrete in his stomach and a sickness pulling at his throat.

“Of course Jean, I’ll go search for Eren. You return with—”

“No! I’m going with you!” He didn’t care if he was acting childish, it didn’t matter that he didn’t have gear, all he cared about right now was finding Eren. If something had happened…if he had died, or worse, if he had lost control, that was all on Jean. “I’m not asking for your protection Armin, and I’m not asking for your permission,” He felt his voice slip into that air of authority, that quality that would make him a leader one day, “I’m going to go find Eren.”

And he didn’t wait. With a flick of the reins, he ducked his head down as his horse kicked up snow and did its best to speed past the others. He was certain he heard Armin calling to him, which he aptly ignored. He pulled his hood up, holding it down the best he could as he steered the horse in the direction he’d hoped to find Eren.

It wasn’t long before he noticed the steam in the distance. Steam like that, that dense, only came from one thing. _Titans_. It was the same direction Eren had run off toward, and he couldn’t stop his mind from jumping to the worst.

_Please be okay…_

He did his best not to bite his lip, finding it difficult to do anything to keep from imagining Eren lying in the snow, bloody, half eaten…alone. Alone and cold and the last thing he’d see was a titan.

 _I won’t let that happen!_ Jean grit his teeth, grabbing the reins tight enough that his knuckles turned white, his thighs squeezing around his horse as he urged the mare to go faster. _Eren, I’m coming!_

Jean’s world went dark as he plunged head-first into the steam. He’d never seen so much of it, so dense that he couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of his face. He expected it to be hot, but instead it was nothing but a cold, moist air, almost musty. The air was thick, suffocating. He’d never get used to the smell of decaying titan. It was too sweet, pungent.

“Eren!” His golden eyes darted around frantically as he jumped down from his horse, leading it by the reins and trying his best not to trip over some titan fragment and break his neck. “Eren, where are you!?”

He couldn’t help but pull his lip between his teeth again, worrying the flesh and scraping rough bone along the raw skin, pinpricks of blood seeping through to his tongue. It wasn’t long before he was forced to a halt, his horse whinnying and pulling back, refusing to move forward. It didn’t matter how hard he tugged or how much he yelled and grit his teeth, she wouldn’t budge.

“Ugh, fine you stupid horse, stay here!” As he turned around, he noticed why she had stopped. There, in the gray blur that had become his world, he noticed a vaguely titan-shaped shadow. “Eren…” He breathed, noticing the way the titan was decaying so abnormally slow.

His slow steps grew faster as he neared the titan, the steam growing thicker and the air growing heavy. It was difficult to breathe, the steam crawling into his lungs and filling his chest with molasses. Every movement took more effort than it should have, no amount of training or lack of sleep had ever left him feeling so…weak.

Every effort he had was put into climbing to the titan’s back. His hands sank into its flesh, which pulled apart from the body, his feet pressing into his sides as he tried to ignore whatever it was that oozed around the toes of his boots. He collapsed to his knees when he finally reached his back, gritting his teeth past the pain and pushing into a sprint toward the nape of its neck.

Eventually he got close enough that even the steam couldn’t hinder his view. And what he saw made the concrete that was his stomach churn, his body turning cold as he blanched. The back of Eren’s titan neck was ripped open; it looked as if he had clawed his own body apart. And yet Eren remained attached, the tendrils of muscles wrapping around his body and threading into his skin.

“Eren!!” Jean skidded to a halt, dropping to his knees next to Eren’s back. He didn’t care that titan blood was seeping into his pants, or that it burned in the same way as dipping yourself into a vat of menthol before running out to play with jack frost. “Eren, come on, wake up!”

The darker-skinned shifter didn’t respond. He didn’t respond to Jean’s voice, or his touch, or the way he shook him frantically. He was stuck in the in-between of being a titan and human. It wasn’t the first time, and it was something he ran the risk of every time he changed. It was always a fear that Eren would lose his humanity in there and become exactly what he hated most.  That risk was exactly why Jean didn’t want Eren to change, to use his ability.

“Sorry, Eren, this might hurt…” Jean closed his eyes, standing over him and sliding his arms around Eren’s waist. He rested his head between his shoulder blades, taking a steeling breath and bracing his feet the best he could to the sides of the brunet. With a heave, he let out a long, drawn out yell, pretending it would make him stronger as he pulled. It was a reaction he couldn’t control. Every part of his body hurt, the titan fighting to keep his host within him, steam wafting into his face and choking him.

“Argh, come on Eren, fight it!” Pulling Eren’s body to himself, he pulled with strength he wasn’t sure he had anymore. It was eerily quiet in the dense steam, quiet enough that he could hear sound of flesh ripping, all heavy and wetness. He could feel the bile churning in his stomach, the smell of iron assaulting his sense as hot blood touched his skin and began to steam away.

He kept preparing himself for the _snap!_ of the titan muscle but it never came. Then his world shifted, his body falling into the decaying titan, wet, slimy skin sliding from the muscles as his weight pulled it from its body and pushed it to the ground. He had never seen a titan decay so intimately, and had always assumed they just sort of…steamed away. But this…it was like that time they found the dead body in the canals, waterlogged and the only thing holding it in its distorted form was the thick layer of slime that was once its skin.

His vision swam as his world righted itself, and slowly he pushed himself up enough to move Eren from on top of him. He couldn’t help but blanch, nearly retching, at the sight. Through all of that, the titan that Eren had become never let go of his host. All that wet tearing, the iron of blood, it had been the shifter’s skin ripping from his body.  His hips and arms were bloody, raw, and steaming. But his face…

Jean swallowed hard, pushing the bile back down to the best of his ability as he started at him.  The skin had been torn from his jaw, up over his mouth, baring all the muscle and tendons below. His face now mostly gone, all blood and teeth, he looked more like the titan than ever.

Tentatively, he reached out his fingers, brushing back blood-soaked bangs from the dark skin and oddly relaxed brows. He had expected to see that angry expression, or pain. Something. Anything. But there was nothing, he was so...blank.

“Eren…” It was fascinating, and sickening, to watch Eren’s skin weave and repair itself, edging its way through the steam. “Eren…come on, Eren, wake up!” He shook him, gently at first, then rougher and figuring if having his flesh rendered was livable than a little whiplash wouldn’t hurt him.

Jean could feel his hands tremble, his body aching at the realization that Eren may never wake up again. Wrapping his arms around the brunet’s body, he pulled him to his ear. Everything was so noisy; the steam, the rain, the wind, the thunder of a nearing blizzard, and fuck if his own thoughts didn’t keep drowning out the world. What if he was dead? What if he was gone? What if he never saw him again? Or heard his voice, or felt his touch or his kisses or breath hot against his skin.

He took a slow, deep breath. In seven seconds, hold four, out eight. He felt his chest loosen its grip on his lungs, his mind quieting and he managed to block out most of the world. And then he heard it. _Thump…thump…thump…_ Jean’s breath hitched, caught in his throat and nearly choking him.  He was alive.

“Eren…Eren! Come on Eren, wake up! Please!” He pulled him into his lap, the steam mostly gone from his body, his smooth skin once again clinging to his frame. Fingers brushed over Eren’s cheeks, warm against his cool skin. His dark lashes fluttered, but his eyes remained closed. “Eren…”

Jean closed his eyes tight, leaning over Eren and pressing their foreheads together. He could hear shouts in the distance, Armin searching for them, he assumed. But none of that mattered to him. Here, in his arms, this was what mattered. He buried his fingers in his hair, holding him close, his arm squeezing his body and fingers fisting into the loose of Eren’s shirt.

“Eren…please…you promised me didn’t you?” He bit his lip hard, feeling the flesh give under his teeth.

Eren had made him a promise. _‘I’ll protect you.’_ It had rung in his ears over and over. Not once had he promised to come back. Even his eyes, green and glittering, had been tainted with sadness as if that were a promise he could never make.

“Eren, please come back…I’m okay now…you protected me. You don’t have to stay this way anymore. Please, Eren, please—” He felt hot tears burning his eyes, pushing their way past his lids and dripping freely down his cheeks. _Please…not again…not you, too. I never meant—_ “I never meant for this to happen to you, Eren…I just wanted,” he swallowed hard, his breaths shuddering within his chest, “I just wanted you. To be with you, to be happy with you. I thought…I thought maybe we…”

Jean’s body flinched as Armin shouted his name, their names, in the distance. It was becoming clearer, closer.

“Fucking dammit, Eren! What are you doing! You can’t just give up like this! You can’t just—die! Aren’t you supposed to leave the Walls! Didn’t you promise Armin you were going to see the ocean with him! Are you such a piece of shit that you’d leave all that behind!? Are you that much of a coward!? Just a fucking liar!?”

Jean didn’t care if the rescue party could surely hear him at this point, or if he was just shouting to shout. He didn’t care that his eyes were red and swelling and his tears were freezing on his cheeks and he was pretty sure his mouth was smeared red with his own blood. He didn’t care that his body trembled and shook, that he had to force himself not to breathe just to keep racking sobs down.

And then he felt it, a hand in his hair, and his body froze. His world froze. If he hadn’t already been holding his breath, he was certain he would have forgotten how to breathe.

“You really are a fool, horseface.” The voice was weak, hoarse, and sounded painful. Even so, it left Jean breathless, his eyes glossed over and he could almost laugh as he looked into those half-open green eyes.

“E-Eren..?” This time he did laugh, a little, breathless thing of incredulity. “You’re…you’re alive?”

The shifter smiled tiredly, his hand shifting down from Jean’s hair to cup his jaw, his fingers trembling with exhaustion. “Sorry, can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Jean laughed, a little fuller now, and he was certain the tears hadn’t stopped streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t care, couldn’t care. He pulled Eren to him, pressing his lips against his in a hard, desperate kiss. Then another, and another, and another until finally Eren started to laugh and pulled back.

“Jean, you twat, that’s enough!” Eren’s laugh was light, his hands trembling as he reached up to wipe Jean’s cheeks dry. “I’m okay.”

Jean nodded, only just now noticing that most of Eren’s clothes were gone. His shirt hung to him by threads and his legs were bare below the knees. “Shit, Eren—” Slowly he let go of him, making sure he was able to sit up on his own. He wasted no time in unfastening his jacket and shrugging it off, draping it over Eren’s shoulders and tugging it tight around his chest, his eyes looking over him with worry.

“Heh, you do realize you need that more than me.” He smirked, green eyes glinting through their fatigue. “Kinda got a built in defense, y’know.”

“Just let me have this…”

* * *

It hadn’t taken long for Armin and the others to find the two of them as the steam dissipated and Eren’s titan body fully decayed into nothing. Once the blond had been reassured that Eren was, in fact, not on the brink of death he had helped him onto Jean’s horse. No one questioned when Jean insisted they ride together, or the way Jean seemed to cling to the other, or even the way that Eren managed to fall asleep in his arms on the ride back to the Wall.

He had felt the looks the others were giving him, but tried to ignore them. He even overheard Armin quietly trying to explain that he must blame blaming himself for what happened to Eren. He wasn’t wrong.

Upon their return, they had been released from the duties of post-riding horse grooming, Sasha and Connie taking their three horses to do it themselves. And thus Jean found himself in Eren’s room, the sun bright through the window and the stone cold against his back. Armin had left them with orders to come see himself and Hanji as soon as Levi was done with them. Except Levi had yet to show up, and it left Eren antsy.

“Will you just sit down? It’s obvious you’re exhausted.” Jean looked up at Eren through his hair, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I can’t. As soon as I do he’ll show up and then I’ll just be lazing about or making someone else worry about me.” Eren pressed his lips together, brows furrowing as he looked at Jean.

“Wouldn’t want—”

“You both are safe, then?” Levi slowly moved into the doorway, putting more of his weight than he’d like to admit onto the frame. He was pale, paler than usual, the pink gone from his lips and his skin clammy. He wore nothing but a pair of loose black pants, likely under the orders of Hanji, the majority of his chest wrapped in a large ace bandage, thick pads of gauze pressed tight to his body around his ribs.

“Yes, sir! Uh, minor damage but nothing more.” Eren winced internally; he hated the way he automatically turned into an obedient puppy around Levi. It always left him wondering how much of it was being a good little soldier, and how much of it was because of their past.

“Then why is your stallion looking at me like he’d like to throw me out of a big ass tree?” His voice remained calm, unoffended, as he looked between the two.

“O-oh! Uh, it was just a hard few days is all!”

“Good,” Levi nodded, and his jaw tensed visibly as he tried to hide the amount of pain he was in. With his injuries, he shouldn’t even be lucid, let alone walking the halls to check on his squad. “Get to Hanji and Armin to get checked over and cleaned up,” he paused, turning to Jean, “Both of you.”

Jean didn’t wait for Eren to ask him what his problem was before walking out of his room after Levi. It didn’t take long for him to have Armin check him over, Eren instead going to Hanji. Armin insisted he use his private bath, and was sure that Hanji must’ve insisted the same for their personal shifter. Surely, she must have been very thorough, and here he found himself sitting on Eren’s bed in a loose shirt and pants, hair not quite dripping anymore. Waiting. …Waiting…

 _Why am I even waiting here…_ Jean sighed, looking down at his hands and trying to keep himself from chewing his already torn lip or running them through his hair. His tells were obvious, really. _Why…dammit why—_

“Jean?”

Jean’s breath hitched at the voice, turning to see Eren standing in the doorway, dark hair hanging heavily around his eyes.

_Oh right, that’s why._

“You didn’t have to wait here for me, you know.” He shrugged, sitting next to him but not close enough to be touching, his hands in his lap.

“Yeah, I know, I just um,” _don’t know what to do around you, don’t know what we are now_ , “I just wanted to make sure you were all right, y’know, after Hanji looked you over.”

“I am.”

“Oh…oh good…”

The two sat in silence, not looking at each other and not speaking. The only noise was their shallow breathing and the creak of the bed if one of them shifted any further on the edge. Jean noticed the way Eren’s fingers worried at his pants, and he couldn’t help the sinking feeling that he was intruding, and wondered if the other could hear his heart pounding in the silence.

“Why were you looking at the Captain like that..?” Eren’s voice was surprisingly quiet. A question he didn’t want to ask, or maybe didn’t want the answer. More specifically, maybe he wanted a _certain_ answer.

“What are you talking about?” Jean tensed, and his shallow hope that Eren wouldn’t call his bluff was shattered when he received a deadpan from him. “What, was I supposed to jump to my feet and wag my tail for him like a puppy like you!?” _Dammit, Jean!_

Eren flinched, his brows furrowing and his fists clenching around his pants. “Why don’t you just say what you really mean?”

“You still have a thing for him, don’t you?!” His voice was harsh, but he didn’t care at this point. Anger was a lot easier for him to understand than everything else swirling inside him.

“I’m not in love with Levi, if that’s what you mean.” Eren’s voice was surprisingly even, though tense. It was…different for him. Maybe he was just too tired to react.

“Oh, right. That’s why even though you could barely stand, you refused to relax until he left. Can’t disappoint your precious Heichou, maybe if you’re a good puppy he’ll give you a bone.”

“What the hell is your prob—”

“I don’t want to fucking lose you!” Jean was yelling now. It didn’t matter if he was overreacting, or who heard, he didn’t care anymore. “I thought I lost you once and I can’t go through that again!” He wasn’t sure when his fingers had found their way around the neck of Eren’s shirt, or when those green eyes went from anger to wide with surprise. “I…I can’t do that again, Eren…” His voice was barely a whisper, his fingers loosening around Eren’s shirt.

“Jean…” Eren’s expression softened, warm fingers moving to wrap around the other’s wrist.

“I just…I thought you…” He lifted golden eyes to Eren’s, hating how weak he must’ve seemed. He had never cared before, but now…now he couldn’t stand it. “I thought you were dead, Eren.” _Just like Marco._

Eren’s lips pulled into the faintest of smiles, pulling Jean’s hands from his shirt and sliding his fingers into the other’s. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t mean, I just,” He leaned forward, kissing next to Jean’s mouth, “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Jean nodded slowly, their foreheads brushing together before he slid a hand into Eren’s hair, turning to capture his lips. It was a soft, needy kiss. He could feel the shorter male inhale against him, fingers moving up to his neck as Eren kissed him back. It still gave him some faint surprise, as if once they returned, he would forget everything that had happened and treat it like just another night.

Reluctantly, Jean pulled back just enough to look at him, still able to feel his breath on his skin. “Eren, I…” His eyes flicked between Eren’s, searching, almost frantic.

“Do you remember what I said?” When Jean didn’t answer, he continued. “We’re both fools.” He smiled, a pink flush touching the dark skin of his cheeks as he leaned in for a quick kiss. “I meant it, you know.”

Jean only took a moment, seeing no hint of deceit in Eren’s eyes before he pulled him into another kiss. Their lips mashed together, his fingers buried in the wet, dark hair, his hand drifting down to the other’s hip. Surely, there was something he should be saying. ‘I feel the same, I want you to be happy, I love you, I’m scared.’ Yet, he couldn’t say anything. All he could do was press their lips together and hope it was enough. Hope he was enough.

He could feel the dark-skinned man tremble in a suppressed shiver, his chest pushing closer to his own. Jean took it for the cue that it was, slipping his hand from Eren’s hip and sliding it up under his shirt. His fingers trailed over his body, ghosting along his torso and relishing the way the other arched into his touch. Shaking fingers pushed their way up into his undercut, soft lips sucking his between them as Eren pulled back. His flushed cheeks seemed to make his green eyes glow as they looked up at him, stark teeth working his own lip.

“Jean, I…” Eren paused, and Jean couldn’t help a twinge of worry that something was wrong. “I, um…I want to…” He averted his eyes, his cheeks darkening.

Jean felt his own cheeks flush, fighting down a shit-eating grin. He never would have figured Eren for being bashful. Why was this any different than the night before, he wondered. He couldn’t force himself to think on it any longer, as once against Eren’s lips were on his and his hands had made their way under his shirt. His slightly calloused fingers ran over the smoothest skin he had ever felt, sliding over his abs and to his chest, finding their way to gently prod a nipple. The moan that filled his mouth, a moan not his own, pushed straight to his groin; already he could feel himself starting to harden.

Jean smiled against Eren’s lips, pushing his tongue into his mouth, sucking in his taste and feel and everything about this moment. This wasn’t a ‘we might die so might as well’ or just some ‘mutual release.’ It was more, had always been more, and he could _taste_ it on him.  Could feel it in the way every part of Eren moved into his touch, slowly, languidly.

Breaking the kiss, Jean pulled back. He was a little breathless, leaning in to push a quick kiss, and another, and another, to Eren’s kiss-reddened lips. His fingers gripped the edge of the other’s shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor. His eyes traveled over that dark skin that would forever be flawless. In one swift movement, he pulled Eren into his arms, pulling him close and burying his face in his neck.

His lips moved slowly against the dark skin, working over his neck with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue sneaking out to roll against the flesh.  Eren’s breath hitched, gasping at the wet heat as he tilted his head to expose his neck. Dark fingers reached into Jean’s hair, almost kneading into it as he worked his way to the crook of Eren’s neck, sinking his teeth into the skin and suckling the flesh.

Eren’s gasps turned into a low, long moan that reverberated along Jean’s tongue. Holding him to his neck, he shifted back, pulling the other down on top of him. He gladly shifted under him, arching up into his every touch, grinding his hips to rub against the thigh pressed between his thighs. At least until he felt fingers snaking under his waist band, his body tensing as he pulled Jean by his hair and forced him to look at him.

Jean paused, lips red and cheeks flushed, his eyes already beginning to cloud over. “What is it, Eren?”

“I..” Eren turned his head to the side, his voice dropping to a mumble. “I’m scared…”

Jean couldn’t help but smile, dipping down to brush his lips against Eren’s neck, breath hot against his skin a he nibbled on his ear. “Relax, it’ll be just like yesterday.”

Eren tensed again, yanking him back by the hair and holding him far enough to look at him, his brows furrowed and green eyes set with determination. “I don’t want it to be like yesterday.”

As the fingers loosened in his hair, Jean flinched at the words. “I, uh…I didn’t realize it wasn’t—” His world shifted as fingers gripped the back of his head and pulled him in close, the shift pressing their bodies together as Eren’s fingers snaked along his inner thigh.

“I want _you_ , Jean…” He pulled back and looked at him, watching as the light bulb clicked on behind those golden eyes, his own cheeks flushing as Jean’s ears lit up red. “But I,” His eyes darted around, trying to look anywhere but Jean’s, “it’s been a long time, okay. Look I know it’s stupid I’m sca—”

Jean silenced him with a kiss, pressing their lips together with a heavy inhale, tugging slightly on his lower lip as he pulled back. “Just trust me,” He brushed their lips together, “I won’t hurt you.”

Eren nodded, sliding his hands up Jean’s hips and tugging at his shirt. “Off.” Jean only grinned in response, pushing up to his knees and pulling his shirt over his head, his muscles stretching with the movement. Goosebumps formed on his skin as dark fingers roamed over his hips and up his chest, Eren licking his lips subconsciously. “You’re really…just wow…”

Jean chuckled, sitting back on his feet and grinning, almost displaying himself. He couldn’t help relishing the way those green eyes seemed to _devour_ him. Crawling over him, he dipped down to kiss along his chest, moving is lips to brush over his nipple, grinning at the way Eren arched and gasped, turning it into a low moan as he rolled his tongue over the nub. Sucking the flesh between his teeth, he ghosted his hand over Eren’s side, fingers tugging carefully at his pants, using both hands to tug them from under his hips when he lifted them.

“Jean,” Eren’s voice was breathy, ragged. “The drawer.”

He paused, Eren’s pants resting just past his hips, and looked down at him uncertainly. He noticed the way he looked away, that same awkward expression he gave him earlier. Smiling, he nodded as it clicked to him, leaning off the bed and digging through until he found a small vial of oil. Turning back with a smug expression, bottle in hand, his breath hitched at what the view.

Eren had shifted on the bed, moving to lie back against the pillows, his briefs the only thing he still had on and those were around his knees. His cheeks were flushed, lip pulled in between his teeth, and his hands had slid down to between his thighs. His eyes were cloudy, lids heavy as he lowered his legs, hands sliding along his hip bones, never taking his eyes off of Jean.

“Fuck, Eren…”

Eren smiled at him, eyes half lidded as he traced his fingers gingerly over his hips. “That’s the plan, isn’t it?”

Jean looked at him softly, a small smile on his lips. Setting the bottle on the bed, he crawled between Eren’s ankles, moving to hover over him and leaning in to nip at his lips. “I would love to fuck you until you can’t walk, the way you’re looking at me,” He felt Eren shiver beneath him, the others lips searching for his without purchase, “But,” Jean pulled back enough to look into his eyes, brushing fingers though Eren’s hair, “I’m not going to do something to hurt you.”

Eren paused, eyes clearing up as they searched Jean’s, who only smiled back, unwavering. He nodded, pulling the other down into a kiss, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Jean sucked in his breath heavily, inhaling their mingling scents before pulling back. Kissing down Eren’s jaw to his neck, he trailed gently kisses over his chest.

His breath shuddered, pressing against his torso, leaving slow, languid kisses as he worked his way down, running his tongue along his ‘v’, Eren letting out a small moan in response. His hips trembled, his hardened cock twitching above his stomach. Sliding his hands up those dark thighs, he slowly pulled his briefs off before tossing them to the side.

Eren had expected him to dive right in, and had inadvertently tensed for it. Instead, he found Jean sliding between his legs, pulling one over his shoulder, his hand sliding up the other. His eyes were on Eren as he nuzzled against his inner thigh, lips pressing soft kisses to the tender flesh. Green eyes focused on him, taking in everything he was doing; every touch, the way his lips brushed against his skin and he inhaled his scent, the way his hand traveled up his thigh, fingers brushing dangerously close to his groin.

Hawk eyes watched Eren closely, roaming over his dark skin, capturing the way his skin rippled over his muscles, the way his torso tensed and twitched under his fingers and his body arched into his touch. The way his cock twitched as his hands neared, but never touched. The way Eren gasped and almost whined when his hand slid down to rest on his hip instead of giving him the touch he wanted.

“Fuck, Eren,” Jean’s lips brushed against his inner thigh, kissing gently and turning his eyes to him once again, hand splayed over his hip, “You’re so beautiful.”

Eren blushed, feeling the heat spread through his chest and down his core, leaving him to wonder if his whole body was flushed at this point.

“Really, Eren,” Letting Eren’s leg down, his shifted to kiss just above his hip, his hands holding firmly to his sides, “Every part of you, you’re gorgeous.”

“Jean, I…” Eren blushed, cupping Jean’s cheek, his blush deepening as he felt his cock twitch, brushing against the other’s torso.

Jean only grinned, taking it as the compliment it was. Shifting his weight, he took Eren’s hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing his palm, turning his hand to kiss along the side where he knew there should be scars. Moving his lips back to Eren’s hips, Jean kissed lower, stopping just short of dark hair.

He couldn’t help smirking as he hovered close, lips not quite brushing over Eren’s cock, and let out a shuddering breath, hot against the sensitive flesh. His cock jumped, leaving Jean with a satisfied smile on his face. His fingers brushed over dark hips, careful not to touch his shaft, and again he breathed hotly against the head, watching as a drop of precum swelled and Eren let out a whimper.

“Jean, please,” He bit his lip, embarrassed maybe? “Please, touch me.”

Without hesitation, Jean rolled the flat of his tongue over the slit of Eren’s cock, eliciting a gasp from the other. He bucked his hips, but found them pinned to the bed. Slowly, pink, kiss-swollen lips wrapped around the head, taking him in. He sucked him slowly into the back of this throat, swallowing around him, before setting into a very slow rhythm. Agonizingly slow.

Before Eren could ask for more, he pulled off of his dick with a _pop_ , saliva glossing his lips as he licked down the other’s shaft. His hips shifted, pushing his cock against Jean’s fingers and lips, search for more friction than he was getting. Jean couldn’t help but smirk.

_Needy little shit._

Jean’s fingers wrapped around Eren’s shaft, gingerly stroking him, relishing the gasp he got in return. Slowly he ran his hands along the other’s thighs, hand pale against his dark skin. Pushing his thighs up, he dipped down to run the flat of his tongue over the other’s entrance.

“A-ah~ Jean, what are you—!”

Jean poked his head up from between Eren’s thigh, a smug smile on his face. “You act like this is your first time, Eren.”

“Well, um,” His legs shifted, hips wriggling awkwardly, “it is, for that.”

“You mean—” Jean stifled a heavy sigh, kissing Eren’s thigh gently. _Guess it really was nothing but release for him._ He began kissing down his thigh again, making his way back to his mouths previous occupation.

“Wait, isn’t that dirty!?”

Jean poked his head up again, deadpanning toward Eren. “You just showered.”

“Yeah, but I—” Jean didn’t let him finish, dipping back down and pushing the point of his tongue into his hole, twisting it inside of him. “F-fuck, Jean~”

_Fuck I could listen to that forever._

Gripping Eren’s hips from underneath, he lifted them and pushed his thighs back. Chewing his lip, he admired the view for a moment before dipping back down, rolling his tongue along the twitching entrance, pushing it in as far as he could. He couldn’t reach deep, but that didn’t stop him from twisting and twirling his tongue inside, pulling back to circle the flat along his entrance.

He pulled back, his own saliva glossing over Eren’s hole, and looked up at his lover. His ankles near his head, legs spread and hips open, lips wet with saliva and red from futile attempts to bite back moans, his eyes glossed over and his cheeks red. Fuck, Jean could feel the heat pulling at his core, his briefs more than a little wet with his own precum as he looked at the mess he was leaving Eren in.

“Don’t—don’t stop,” He panted out, muscles twitching.

Without hesitation, Jean pushed his face back to Eren’s ass, pushing his tongue inside him. He couldn’t help but moan, breathing in his musky sweet scent, the taste of him on his tongue, his fingers in his hair. And his name on his lips.  Fuck, his name on his lips.

“Jean, deeper~”

He paused, lifting his head to look into those hazy green eyes. “Eren, I c—”

“Then use something else.”  Eren’s voice was almost a growl, the need of it jolting to his core.

It only took a moment of hesitation before Jean was scrambling for the lube. He could feel Eren’s eyes on him, legs impatiently shifting around his own, watching as he poured it into his palm and massaged it over his fingers. He turned toward him, lips going back to Eren’s thigh as his rubbed a finger over his entrance, watching closely. Eren nodded, and that was all the approval he needed to push his finger inside.

Eren gasped, body arching. It went in easy at first; slowly, he pushed it deeper and felt the muscle tense around him. It wasn’t all that surprising, and Jean was more than willing to take the time. Even if his cock was screaming at him, at this point.

Caressing up Eren’s thigh, and over his hips, Jean leaned over him, kissing gently over his ribs and up his chest. “Relax, Eren. It’s just you and me.” Eren nodded to him, slowing his breathing, watching as Jean’s lips latched onto his nipple, pleasure jolting through him and causing him to clench around his finger.

His lips moved up his chest, over his neck, pausing to nip at his chin and relishing the shiver it elicited. Then he captured Eren’s lips in his own. He held them close, bodies close enough to feel each other’s heat, the tip of his cock brushing against Jean’s stomach. Their lips worked slowly together, tongues pushing against one another, slipping in and out of their mouths.

He felt the muscles relax around his finger, and took the opportunity to crook his finger inside of him. Eren’s entire body arched, his hands gripping Jean’s biceps, a loud moan pushing into his mouth. He grinned, watching Eren slowly relax, chest heaving in sharp, shallow breaths.

“Sh-shit, Jean…”

Jean smiled against his lips, repeating the movement and watching as a silent gasp escaped his lips, his hips rocking to push his cock against the other’s stomach. He didn’t even have to move, Eren slowly beginning to rock his hips and push back on his finger. Gently, he pushed a second finger inside him. Jean felt him tense again, knowing the familiar discomfort that the unfamiliar fullness left.

“Hey,” He moved to suckle on Eren’s earlobe, “focus here,” He brushed his thumb over his nipple, “and here.” Eren nodded, leaving Jean to work lips over his neck. He sucked hard on the flesh, nipping and sucking, leaving marks that he wished would stay for everyone to see. It wasn’t long before Eren’s body relaxed, gasps pushing from his lips as he slowly moved his fingers, scissoring them and sliding them in and out of his body, occasionally eliciting a sharp gasp by pushing against his prostate.

“Jean.” Eren’s voice was hoarse, heavy with pants as he slid his hand down to Jean’s fingers, shivering as he pulled them from his body. Gold eyes looked at him, concerned that he had changed his mind. Instead he only smirked, sliding his fingers up to palm Jean’s bulge through his pants. “I’m ready~”

Jean perked up, giving Eren the cat-that-ate-the-fucking-canary face. He nodded, climbing off the bed just long enough to push his remaining clothes to the floor, not missing the fact that Eren was eyeing him the entire time.

“Like what you see?” Jean smirked, wiggling his ass at Eren as he stepped out of his boxer-briefs.

“Eh, it’s not too bad.”

“Wha—what’s that supposed to mean, you ass!”

Eren chuckled lazily, smirking at him as his hands roamed over his own body. “Maybe you should stop making me wait, then.”

Jean grinned, climbing back onto the bed and dipping in for a hungry kiss, sucking hard on his lip as he pulled back. He shifted his weight back to his knees, drizzling lube over his cock and Eren’s entrance, for good measure. His breath shuddered inside his chest as he pushed his thighs back to open him up. He couldn’t take his eyes off his hole, sliding his cock between his cheeks. He didn’t enter him, simply rocked his hips to push between his cheeks and over his entrance, shivering as the head of his cock pressed against Eren’s balls.

With every thrust, he could feel Eren shiver beneath him, feel his hole twitching under the attention. It was almost a morbid fascination, watching his cock slide along Eren’s body, the shivers of pleasure it elicited in both of them pushing heat into his core. Eren’s torso twitched, his fingers kneading the bed sheets as he looked up at Jean, panting and flushed.

“Jean, dammit, just fuck me already!” Eren growled at him, his voice harsher but his face a needy mess.

Jean only nodded, pulling back to spread Eren’s cheeks. The german let out a little gasp as he opened him with his fingers, lining himself up. He hesitated, watching Eren closely as he slowly pushed his head into him, letting out sharp gasp of his own. He paused, unmoving as he felt his hole pulse around him.

“Dammit, Jean,” Eren reached his hands out, pulling Jean into a kiss. He wrapped his legs around pale hips, pulling him closer and forcing a low moan from his lips as he pushed Jean fully into him. “Oh shit, Jean.” He panted, face buried in the other’s neck.

“What is it? Did I hurt you? I can pull out if—”

Eren’s light laughter cut him off, lips brushing against Jean’s neck. “It feels good,” He nipped at his ear, feeling the way he pulsed around Jean’s cock, “the way you fill me.” Jean shuddered, his own face hot and buried against Eren’s shoulder. “Move.”

Shuddering, Jean shifted back to watch him as he pulled back slowly, pushing back into him. Every pass pushed a moan from the other’s lips, a gasp pushing from his own. It was all he could do to keep himself steady, to keep from fucking Eren into oblivion. His body ached, heat building, leaving him barely able to keep from taking him as hard as he could.

“F-Faster, Jean~ I need more,” He slid a hand up Jean’s arm, “I want to be closer.”

Shifting forward, he slid his arms under Eren’s body, holding him close and pulling him up to sit in his lap. Sliding his hands down to grip his cheeks, he lifted Eren, spreading him and lowering him onto is cock, angling to push against his prostate.

“Shit, Jean! There! Again, Jean~” His voice came out in broken moans, nails digging into his back.

Jean pulled him close, holding him open and thrusting into him, angling his hips to rub against that spot that made him scream like that, made him tighten around him. “F-fuck, Eren~” He could feel pain searing his back as the other clawed at his skin, digging in to rut down onto his cock.

“M-more~”

“Fuck, Eren, you’re so –mn~ tight,” Jean panted into his neck, hips beginning to lose their rhythm and moving on their own. “I can feel you –ah~ sucking me—in—”

“Jean, d-don’t stop, fuck Jean, I’m,” Eren wrapped his legs tight around Jean’s hips, pulling him closer and pushing down onto his cock, panting and moaning at the way Jean never stopped, pushing as deep into him as their bodies would let them. “Jean, I’m, I’m gonna—” His next words came out nothing but frantic, needy moans, a mix of profanities and Jean’s name, splurting hot cum between them.

“Fuck, Eren, your ass – it’s so amazing, s-so hot. Fuck, Eren~” Jean’s grip on him tightened, pushing hard up into him, thrusts becoming slow, languid, but deep, riding his ass through his orgasm, filling him. Slowly, Jean lifted Eren’s hips, relishing the cum that leaked from his open hole and the gasp that fell from his lips. Breathless, the darker skinned brunet collapsed onto his mattress.

Green eyes watched Jean closely, noticing the way he looked around the room that wasn’t his own, eyes glancing toward the door. “Um…will you stay with me tonight?”

Jean tried not to look too happy, but knew it showed in his eyes and the smile that tugged at his lips. He collapsed next to Eren, who moved to lie in the crook of his arm, pressed against his body. They lay in a satisfied silence, waiting for their breaths and heartbeats to return to normal.

“You know…” Eren’s voice seemed unnaturally loud in the silence, and yet it was serious, soft almost. “Sometimes I just really hate this power of mine.” He took Jean’s silence as a means to continue. “I mean…why couldn’t I be an angel or something. Just...something, something besides this,” He held his hand up above him, fingers splayed, “this monster.”

Jean bit his lip, knowing that it was his words that had brought this up. He had called him a monster, out of anger, sure, but he had done so nonetheless. “Eren…”

A sad laugh pushed from Eren’s lips, hand still above them, fingers beginning to curl into themselves. “Sorry, it was stupid—”

Jean reached up, sliding his fingers between Eren’s. “Wings aren’t what you need.” He pulled the hand to his lips, kissing over each finger before placing slow, deliberate kisses where the other’s teeth had been. “You’re not a monster, Eren. You never were.”

Eren’s looked up at him, tears glossing over his eyes. He looked ready to argue, and Jean only shook his head. “Never,” He smiled, pulling him into a soft kiss and squeezing the hand that was in his.

**Author's Note:**

> :/ its not as good as the first one but i tried? sorry i feel like i uber failed with the smut but its 5am and im tired.


End file.
